Schizoaffective
by HisAngelicDemon
Summary: Having trouble to tell the difference between what is real and what isn't, one of the most insane people you will ever meet, Bella Swan, believes no one can help her from her "problem". Will her illusions help her change her mind? M for language.
1. Chapter One

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****:**

**This story is rated "M", if you are underage and immature about any adult themes this story may contain in the near future, such as sex, swearing or anything along those lines, then it is highly suggested that you do not read this story. _However_ the first chapter was rated "T" and created to be an one-shot, that anyone underaged may read. This will be the last of the author's notes until the end of this story unless there is something important to post. Any _Twilight _settings/ characters mentioned in this story does not belong to BellandEdward4Evr, only the plot does. No copy right infrigment intended. **

**Any questions about this story/ plot then send a review or PM and you will get a reply. Also, a thanks to Jinxed Jessi for editing this chapter.o.o.**

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I huffed at crossed my arms over my chest. I hated going to therapy, there was no point. I'm crazy, I knew it. I didn't need some hot shrink telling me that every day. Oh, and when I mean "hot", I'm talking about beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous, "head over heels" type hot. I would enjoy going to see him everyday if he wasn't a shrink. Now _that _would be fun.

My mom is making see him against my own will. She says that this can be cured, I know that it can. But I don't want to cured, I like being different in a way… So I see things that my mom says isn't there, I don't see a problem with it. Maybe I'm a medium…that would be cool. I try to convince her that I am not crazy (which is harder than it looks), it doesn't work. She says girls who sneak up on people pretending they're a ninja, start yelling at themselves, and see things that aren't there isn't normal.

Okay, first the ninja part is just for fun! Who wouldn't want to be a ninja, really? That's common sense, right? Second, I was yelling at myself because my mom wouldn't when I broke a cup while washing the dishes, I deserved it! Once again, that is common sense. And third, the seeing things that aren't there part…I got nothing.

All right, I'm seventeen years old, I just graduated high school and I am not allowed to attend college until I'm not crazy anymore. Translation: I'm never going to go to college because I'll _always _be crazy. As smart as I am…college is not an option for me. I couldn't care less because I get to see the hot shrink every day. I just hope he doesn't give up on me… That would suck.

Right, so, here I am in the car huffing and puffing so my mom won't send me to see the hot therapist. I like seeing him, but he keeps interrogating me! It's annoying sometimes, so I try to change the subject. That NEVER works. It sucks.

I can't convince my mom to turn the car around because my dad is in the car. My mom is more gullible than my dad; my dad is a pain in the ass. The only way to annoy him is by putting on Blood on the Dance Floor, BrokenCYDE, Green Day, or anything that involves people screaming for music. It's funny. Here's an example:

I turn on my iPod and put my headphones in my ears. The iPod is currently playing Sexting by Blood on the Dance Floor. The song is funny because it sounds like the 80's version of a Mario game, but the lyrics are soooo inappropriate. I waited until the "SEXT ME" part was over before I started singing the lyrics.

I took a breath, "Less then three is just a tease, send those nudes, make me drool." My dad's eyes widened a little. He knew where this was going. "Hit me up, make me cum. Wanna sext? I'll show you some!"

"Isabella Swan, what the he-," I cut my dad's yelling off with the next part of the song.

"Sticky drama all the way, want my dick? You got to pay!" I bite my lip while my dad's face was red. He hasn't even listened to the rest of the song yet! My mom put her hand on her forehead while shaking her head.

"Turn that crap off right now, young lady!" My dad ordered me. I started laughing my ass off. The car stopped, I knew we were at the place already. I ran out of the car, leaving my ashamed mother in the driver's seat and my fuming father in the passenger's. Like I said before, it's fun pissing my dad off.

I ran into the white mansion, it was crazy pretty. I loved it. "Doctor" Cullen preferred meeting me at his home on sunny days; he said it seems more welcoming. I couldn't help but agree a little. I love the sun, and I loved it even more when I got to be inside his house. It's beautiful; I would mostly likely never get tired of it.

Right, so my sexy therapist was waiting for me in front of his door. He was wearing sun glasses, a long sleeved shirt and slants. He is unbelievable hot. He needs some sleep though; he always has dark spots under his eyes. His hair is sexy; it's a special kind of brown. It's the type of brown when you run in a marathon and get in third place the trophy is bronze. You barely ever see that, especially in this small, crappy town. His eyes are hot red, it looks mysterious and gentle. I could stare at them for hours if I felt like it. Oh and his jaw is soooo sexy...

"You're wearing long sleeves on a sunny day? I thought I was the crazy one," I greeted him with a playful smile and turned off my iPod. I didn't have the confidence to flirt with him, so playful seemed more comfortable.

He laughed, "You're not crazy, you're just unique and see things that aren't there." His voice was so smooth, like phone sex smooth. The funny part is that my parents have to pay for it. I blushed at my thoughts and his comment.

He opened the door for me when I walked inside. I muttered a "thank you", he just nodded. I ran to his couch and jumped on it. It was so soft, so I laid on it and started rolling. He chuckled and sat on the couch across from the one I was on.

"Nice to see you again, Bella," he greeted me. I stopped twirling on the couch and looked at him. He was being the therapist now. I frowned.

"Hi," I whispered and sat up.

"How you been?" He asks me with some concern. I would say I saw it in his eyes, but I'm not one of those people who read others' emotions through their eyes.

"Bored," I answered and looked at my hands. I hated talking about my life.

"Why is that?" It seems like all he does is ask questions…I trusted him enough to tell him the truth.

"There's nothing to do around the house except watch TV…," I answered him with a shrug.

"You don't leave the house?" I shook my head. "You don't visit your friends or boyfriend?" I barely paid attention to Doctor Cullen as he asked me that question. There was a short girl with black, spiky hair looking at me. She was laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" I narrowed my eyes at her. Doctor Cullen looked at me confused, as I was looking over his shoulder.

"Nothing, you're just so pathetic," she says and looks out the window. She moves the curtain, the part of her face covered by sunlight turned into diamonds. Her eyes were a honey color.

I opened my mouth, about to speak but Edward had interrupted me. "Bella, do you see someone?" I looked at him for a moment before looking back at the girl. She's not there anymore. I shook my head. "Okay…could you answer my question then?"

"I don't have any friends and I don't see the point to dating," I answered. He tilted his head slightly. I rolled my eyes; I knew he was curious about my last comment. "I don't believe in love," I told him.

He frowned. "Why don't you believe in love? If you don't mind me asking," he asks me with curiosity.

"Love is like vampires! It doesn't exist, though some people would like it to and pretend it does..." He cocks his eyebrow with a smirk. "What?" I asked confused.

"You could see people that aren't there, but you don't believe in love or vampires?" He is teasing me! I scoffed up a laugh.

"I'm not _that _crazy!" I declared. He chuckled at me.

"I believe in vampires, am I crazy?" I was a little shocked to hear my shrink believes in vampires…you would think that he is smarter than me. So, I nodded. He laughed at my response. "Would you like me to prove you wrong?"

I smirked; this is going to be interesting. So, again, I nodded. He smiled and got up from his seat. "Come with me," he ordered. I did what he told me. We started walking towards the back of his house. "Bella…I haven't been completely honest with you…," he tells me.

I look at him as he took off his shirt, revealing his chest and abs. His chest had a little hair on it, not too much to be gross, but enough for it to show he is mature. He has a six pack that made me want to drool, but I'm not one to drool over guys.

"Oh?" That was the only word to pop out of my mouth. He gave me a small frown.

"Yes, stay here," he started walking past me. I stopped walking at the door frame. He walked into the garden. His whole torso started glittering in the sun light, he looked like diamonds. My eyes widened.

"Doctor Cullen?" I kept examining, he was more beautiful than I have ever saw. The left side of his lip went up slightly.

"Edward, call me Edward," he told me. I looked up into his red eyes. He walked over to me and put his hand on mine. His hand was cold and hard, it made me shiver. "I am a vampire."

I sighed, "Okay, we're both crazy then…" He chuckled.

"You need more proof?" He asks me. I nodded and giggled at him. He is the hottest and most insane man I have ever met. He smiled before crashing his lips to mine. I didn't respond immediately, I didn't expect him to kiss me at all. His lips were just as cold as his hand. I loved every second of it. I thought maybe I was hallucinating again, but it seems so real.

I put my hands on the back of his neck, pushing his face to mine. I started kissing him back and he pulled away. _Did I do something wrong?_

"You need to breathe, Bella," he told me. Oh…riiiight. I nodded. He hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Do you believe now?"

"Are we talking about vampires or love?" I answer his question with a question. He nuzzled his head in my neck, taking a breath.

"Both," he breathes out before disappearing. I started looking around, trying to find where he had gone.

It took me a moment to realize if I did believe him; he would be able to hear me wherever he was, so I answered him. "Yes, I believe now."

_If only that had been true._

I frowned, was he part of my imagination all along? Then, I felt a pair of arms go around my waist and a cold kiss on my neck. I rested my head on his shoulder. "Please don't be part of my hallucination," I begged to myself.

"Never," he promised. Being schizophrenic isn't that bad after all, I smiled to myself. Although...seeing vampires is _a little _insane.

_Only a little._


	2. Chapter Two

The bowl sitting in front of me made a "cling" sound when the spoon hit the rim of it. Observing my Cheerios float around in the white liquid, I just sat on the chair in my kitchen. This is a regular Sunday morning. I wake up from an amazing dream, get ready to do nothing, and then eat. What a miserable life…

The scent of fresh coffee filled my nose as I am half asleep. I look up from my pretty Cheerios to see a steaming cup of dark coffee in my face. Looking more up, I see my mother holding the cup with a sweet smile on her face. She tries to hard… "Morning Sunshine!" She greets me with a somewhat excited tone. Letting out a groan, I look back at my Cheerios.

How could she be so energetic in the morning? I thought the morning time was the best excuse to be as miserable as you want and wait for nighttime to come so you could sleep. Ah…sleep. Sleep is my favorite hobby, besides annoying my therapist. That is also fun.

I look up at my mother again. It is amazing how she does not look like me at all. She had short, frizzy tan hair with slight curls. Her face looks as if she's in her forties, but her leafy green eyes make her look younger. Her body seemed pretty average…to me at least. Anyone else that is about her age would think she has the hottest body alive. Obviously, I am not her age.

Her bubbly personality isn't going to last for long, especially the crap that I have put her through all of my life. My mother and father are not in love, but they stayed together for my sake. I felt so selfish once I realized that they weren't in love. Like the smart person I am, I thought the contact arguing over small things on a daily basis was normal. I am stopping them from continuing their lives.

"Would you like some coffee, dear?" Renée asked me, breaking me out of my thoughts. At least she is trying to treat me like an adult unlike Charlie…my father.

I nod and take the coffee from her hand, "Thank you." That makes her smile and sit down with her own cup of coffee in her hand. Her cup of coffee said "Renée" on it; Charlie got it for her on her birthday. He isn't the greatest when picking out gifts. For Christmas I got a poster of a small puppy playing with a chew toy and it said "IN YOUR DREAMS" on it. I was five and expecting a puppy…and he gave me that instead. Boy does he know how to kill someone's dreams.

_Never will ask for a puppy after that._

The only thing I wanted was a cute little baby wolf to have so I could wake up my parents in the morning with its howling. That would have been cool when my father wakes up and is brushing his teeth while hearing, "AWWOO!" He crushed my dream.

Renée made herself eggs with Canadian bacon and started eating it after setting her coffee on the table. I will never understand why it's called Canadian bacon. What makes it Canadian? I don't see any red leaf on it or anything.

"Bells, we have an appointment with your therapist today," my mother reminds me _again_. She told me about five times just this morning. But this time I noticed something different about what she had said.

I look at her and lift an eyebrow, "_We_ have an appointment?" _"_We" means her and me, right?

"Yes, Doctor Dwyler wants to talk to me and you today," she answered confidently. I scowled at her.

_Little-Miss-Know-It-All, _I think in my head.

"Why?" I thought I'm the only one going through therapy here. Then another idea came to my head, "Is he trying to get with you, Mommy?" Her face twisted at my rhetorical question; apparently she is shocked about what I had said.

_Like I haven't said anything worse before. _

"No, he's not trying to 'get with me'," she used air quotes when she said that, "You're not the only one suffering from your…problem! Now stop being so goddamn selfish!" Ouch, that was a low blow. She sipped her coffee and shook her head. I stood quiet waiting for her to say something.

However, she didn't say anything because Charlie walked into the house. Apparently, he came early from work. "Hello, family," Charlie greeted us. I just stand up from my seat and walk out of the kitchen. I hear Charlie ask my mother in a small voice, trying to whisper, "What's her problem?"

Wanting to run out of the house, I stopped in front of my door when I heard a knock. "I got it!" I tell my parents in a loud voice. A knock comes from the door again and I opened it. "You rang?" I answered rudely.

A tiny girl was standing in front of me. She looked like the exact one from my dear last night. She had the spiky, jet black hair and the midget body. Her eyes are a honey color with a dark black pupil. She's taller than I thought.

"You need to go shopping, your clothes are so old," the girl commented on my outfit after looking up and down at me. Like I care what she thinks. Who is she anyway?

I looked at her up and down and say, "Who are you?" The question hangs for a few minutes and she tilted her head to the side. She is a strange girl.

"You don't know me?" She asked in somewhat shock, her eyes getting a tad glassy as if she is about to cry. Oh jeez…guess I have to lie to her.

I reply instantly, "Of course I do! I was joking, come on inside!"

"You are so weird," the same girl from my dream commented. I look at her with awe. What is she doing here?

I smile at her comment, "Why would you say that?" She rolled her eyes at me and walked into my house. She looked around my house, as if she wanted to buy it. Not in a bad way, however it seemed as if she was looking for something inside the house. She looked back at me after a few seconds. Her golden eyes going right through mine.

She shrugged, "You just act strange. Can we go into your room to talk in private?" She didn't wait for me to answer; she just went up the stairs as if she has been here before. I followed her straight into my room to see her sitting on my bed. Wow…she's fast. I shrugged off the thought and closed my door when I walked inside.

She stood up from my bed. Her eyes started roaming my room. The walls in this room I almost empty…except for a poster of my dad (which I threw darts at but my mother took them away). Charlie is a real estate agent, so the poster is of him standing with his arms folded and his hair done nicely and in the bottom is says "CHARLIE SWAN" and "REMAX".

My room whole room has nothing but a bed, the poster and a night light. The night light is on the floor. Renée has to check my room four times a day to make sure there is nothing more than those things. "Do you really remember me?" The midget asked me. I shook my head.

I decided to freak her out, "I had a dream about you." I winked at her. She just looked at me as if I am insane. I started laughing at my thoughts, I am insane. My eyes started watering as I continued laughing and holding my stomach as it started to hurt.

"I need to talk to you and you _will _listen. Got it?" For some odd reason, I felt the need to do what she told me. Who is she? Why did I have a dream about her? I nodded, hoping I can ask questions later. "You need to listen to whatever I say, or else you will be _fucked_." I raised an eyebrow. What is she talking about?

The girl sat on my bed and looked at me. She looked at me like the way my mother would when I had done something wrong and she was about to yell at me. It is a terrifying look…well from the girl it is. My mother just looks weird with it. "There is going to be a man named Edward Cullen, he is going to seduce you and make you do things that could hurt you and or your family. Do you understand?"

"Edward _Cullen_? As in the one from my dream?" I asked instantly. That name alone was a turn on. How could I listen to her instructions without failing?

She rolled her eyes, "Like I know what you dream about…" I frowned, she has a point. She I described him. Like as I remember from my dream. My beautiful, unrealistic dream that I hoped was real. But who knows anymore? Everything I see could be just an illusion; maybe I have green bed sheets instead of red. That would be hot.

She snapped her fingers at me, making me blink and look at her. "You have got to pay attention; this is important shit, Bella," she snarled at me. I felt so small…did not like it one bit.

"How do you know my name? How do you know about…all of this?" She was completely confusing me. What does she have to do with this Edward character or why does she even care to help me?

Giving me a sad look, she sighed and answers, "I'm your friend, Bella. How could you not remember?" That made me crumbled inside. She's my friend? The strange girl walks over to me, again the exposed parts of her body turns into diamonds as she walks into the sunlight. My eyes practically burned from looking at her. I turned my head to look away from the shiny midget.

"Sure we don't have a lot of memories, but I'm the only friend you have right now. Please listen to me," she knelled down in front of me. Maybe the dream I had wasn't a dream? Maybe it really happened and I really did kiss Edward. I smirked a little but stopped being she was looking at me.

"Okay, I'm listening," I tell her after an awkward moment or so. Smiling she stands up from where she was knelling.

A frantic knock on my door made me jump in place and look back. It's probably time to take my pills… I turn to the tiny woman to see her standing near the window. _Huh…that's strange…crazy chicks these days._

She threw her leg out the window and looked at me. "See you, Bella," she told me before trying to throw the other leg out the window. I ran over to the window and pulled her back into my room. As if I was going to let her jump out the window. Why is she leaving anyway?

"Go into my closet if you don't want my dad to see you, you crazy ass," I growled at her. She shrugged and goes into my closet that is on the other side of my room.

Another knock comes from behind my door, makes me ignore the midget and walk over to open it. "What?" I groaned at Charlie with two pills in one hand and a glass of water with ice inside on the other hand. Clozaril is the pill I have to take on a daily basis to try and control my "hallucinations". The doctor says I have to take that dumb pill because all of the other medications he suggested weren't working on me. Thorazine, Haldol, Risperdal, and Zyprexa apparently were making me worse.

I hate these pills. They always make me drowsy and give me a headache; those are the side effects anyway. Telling my want-to-be doctor and my parents won't stop them from forcing me to take these tiny tablets of joy. I take the cup from his hand and the pills. "Thanks," I muttered to him, trying to be nice. Not that I wanted to be nice to my father.

"What did you get before?" Charlie asked me when I put the pills into my hand. What the hell?

I looked at him confused, "Um…the door?" Apparently that confused him even more. What else could I have gotten that is worth telling them about? When someone tells you "I got it" that usually means the door, right?

"Honey-bear, are you all right?" He asked me with concern dripping from his voice. What the heck is "_honey-bear_"? People are so random sometimes. Maybe I'm rubbing off on them?

I nodded and closed the door in his face. As if I was going to let him watch me "swallow" these pills. I walked over to the right side of my room and opened the window to throw out the pills. "Bye, bye, you dumb pills," I slammed the window shut when they hit the ground. Renée will never find out, she doesn't even look at her garden.

I took a big gulp of my water and set it down on the floor, to make it look as if I took the pills. Almost the same exact minute, my mother opens my door telling me that it's time to go see Doctor Dwyler. My parents wanted me to see a therapist since I was going to into a bad depression when I found out I had this stupid "problem". I didn't want my parents to think that I was some lunatic. Of course I didn't tell them that, I'm just going to pretend the smart-ass therapist figured me out. Humans are so easy to trick.

The tiny chick left my house a few minutes after Charlie left my room. She explained to me more how I should listen to her and I won't be, and I quote, "fucked". Renée was rushing me to get to the car, so I ended up crawling to it. She didn't like that one bit. Again I got the "you're may be schizophrenic but that doesn't mean you don't know what's right and wrong" speech. I choose not to listen; my parents are putting me through this hell by going to therapy. I didn't want to, ha-ha, wait. I _don't _want to go. They think I can't handle it or something. I don't want it to seem like a problem, or a disease; I want it to seem as if it's a life style.

One problem with this is that I have a tendency to forget what I'm talking about, as in stopping in the middle of a sentence and then the thought just falls out of my head. Hate that. My parents look at me like I'm fucking retarded when I do that.

That reminds me…I miss that little midget girl. Where she go? Maybe she'll pop up when I go to therapy today?

My mom's black Volvo stopped in front of the doctor's office. It looks like a tiny mental institution! No wonder nobody goes here. How many mental people do you see in Chicago, Illinois?

"Bella, we're here," my mother states the obvious and turns off the car before jumping out of it. I follow her out, trying not to say anything. Besides, I have half an hour of my life talking about nothing to a total stranger.

We walk into the small building, the doors leading us into a small, narrow hallway that ended at the secretary's desk. I thought Charlie was coming, but I guess not. "Hello, we're here to see Doctor Dwyler," Renée tells the blonde hair girl. She looks like she's one of those girls that work at a magazine place with her pencil skirt and a bright collared shirt. Like there's anyone here to impress. Probably the doctor…?

"Do you have an appointment?" She says with a tedious tone. Wow, she must be so busy here when no one comes.

Renée answers, "Yes. Our appointment is at twelve thirty, we are the Swans." Hate that last name. She nods and stands up from here seat to knock on the door of the left side of the room.

"The Swans are here for you," she calls from her side of the door. She looks at us with her blue eyes that look like ice. I only started therapy about two weeks ago and I still cannot get over the way this girl would look at you. Her eyes can be pretty, but scary at the same time. "He's ready for you."

My mother was glad, "Great. Come on, Bella." She walked towards the door and opened it for me. I could tell there's going to be an argument between me and my mother. Can't wait for that to happen.


End file.
